Araanya Paakhi

 

White, Brown and Black: The politics of color lies un-understood.The shame of feelings
lie bare today. The white boy liked the black girl, the brown girl liked the white boy.
The brown girl read Uncle Tom's Cabin when she was nine-years old and wept like a black man
The brown girl read Toni Morrison and Maya Angelou's that the caged birds sing as well.
 But today more so than ever she felt the power of black. She let her glance rest
 longer at black skin, black eyes and black hair. It was going to be difficult, for
to have liked was not evil, to think that one could steal with the power of color was evil. indeed.
 But then one of the days came a moment of remorse and the brown girls evil machinations
lay in front of her.
It was not a twist of fate, it was her life telling her the power of black.
A few feet away stood the black girl, her eyes hidden behind black glasses.
 The brown girl moved away but could not leave the place.
What was she trying to steal? The brown girl and the black girl had only one person
 in their heart. Who said black and brown was different? Their hearts today were the same,
 that made them the same today. A strange sadness enguled the brown
girl's heart, she could not have the white boy. But her heart today was black. 

 

 

 

 

Some times I wonder how much of what I feel for him is for myself.
A lot of disappointment for
things not being the way I want it to be, a lot of grief for not being able to hold it in my hand,
a lot of insecurity of not being worthy of the love.
It is like dark dark clouds in my head and heart that
I cannot seem to move with my hands. But something tells me that the only
 way I can overcome this by opening
my heart, by filling my heart with compassion. Will the grief remain?
Yes it will be like the grief that you cannot
tell Papa that you have a new car or for Babai to lead a fully self-sufficient life.
 But had it not been for grief I would not have been like this. Sensei keeps telling us that all that you
have been suffering takes you to a higher
ground to find value in what you do, find value in your whole life. And that is what I do, find value, that is all that you will be left with at the end of it all................